Self Love & the Inner Critic

“Hmmm I don’t like it” the words uttered most commonly on my art course… invariably even if someone else admires our work we don’t like it! It’s not just true of me… it seems to be universal!

So what’s this got to do with love? I’m noticing for me that my inner critic, the one doesn’t love me, is particularly loud when I’m trying to create. At the moment I have a deadline for 2 ‘finished prints’ and 4 ‘finished drawings’ to be handed in by 1 March. ‘But what’s a finished piece?’ I asked my tutor. Her reply? ‘Something you’re happy with.’ Is there actually such a thing???

So what does she, the loveless inner critic say when I’m ‘trying to do art?’ (See how I can’t even think I’m doing art… only trying to?!)

She says: That’s rubbish… You’ve no talent… You’re not an artist… Everyone else is better… You’re going to fail this course (even though I didn’t do it to pass… I did it to play!)… You don’t get it… You’re not creative… It doesn’t even look like anything… You can’t even draw

Why do we do this to ourselves? What purpose does it serve to be so critical when all were trying to do is play… have fun… create?

We’re crazy! Or at least our ego is! Keeping us from love… joy… creativity…

Maybe in the past I thought that bringing self love was about shutting up that negative inner voice or turning her into some perky, chirpy, always positive voice instead.

And now? I feel its about hearing her voice and knowing she’s not the real me… that she speaks from a worldview of false beliefs… and not falling into the trap of judging myself for hearing her voice either…

I feel self love is about acceptance…
Accepting I’m going to hear the critical voice
Accepting the feelings that arise hearing the critical voice
Accepting that’s ‘her’ perception but doesn’t have to be mine
Accepting I am where I am with my art abilities

So I’ve decided I can use art as a practice to teach me acceptance and self love…

Creating art… accepting the inner critic’s voice… accepting the feelings that arise… accepting I am where I am with my art abilities… and gently, without judgement, returning to my art…