How to be stuck

It’s a funny thing when you go on a journey of self development or growth, you (well I) expect to be moving. I have this expectation because I’m looking to dig in and get some personal growth that there will be some forward movement, some shift, some connection, just something feeling or being different, however subtle or significant.

Well I’m frustrated and curious to be able to tell you that right now I’m stuck.  Yep properly stuck.  The gurus (whoever they might be) tell us that our entire life is a metaphor for who we are and where we are with our journeys.  Well I can tell you it’s not just my own personal journey that’s stuck, check out this list of other stuck metaphors in my life at the moment;

– my brand new car has been broken for 2 years and the garage can’t fix it, so I’m battling between pushing to get it escalated or just ‘accept’ it for what it is = stuck.

– I’m trying to buy the house I currently rent (have been since January this year) and I can’t do anything about it until September, the more I pushed it, the more the dates kept being pushed back = stuck.

– I thought my book was ready for launch but every time I tried to reach out to publishers or set about self publishing, something got in my way = more stuck arghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The stuck-ness is partly  why I haven’t written anything here for a while.  I’ve been trying to sit with it.  Well that’s not the truth actually, to begin with I fought it like the Queen of Sheba, then I dropped into defeated space and wanted to cry face planted on the floor like a toddler who wasn’t able to get their own way, then I moved into victim space and started to demand that the universe fix it all for poor me and now I’m trying to just be in adult acceptance.

But what the hecky thump does acceptance mean to a personal development/growth warrior princess/restless pants/wisdom seeker like me?  The answer? I’m not sure.  And that’s perhaps the hardest part for me, getting comfortable not knowing, not having an answer (like I do for most things), not having a solution, just sitting with it, however uncomfortable.

Here’s what I’ve learnt so far (so perhaps you can short wire the toddler and victim phase if you find yourself needing some acceptance when you’re stuck);

1. The more you fight it, the worse it gets.

2. Make friends with it. Ask it to be your friend or your guide not your enemy.

3.Don’t try to put a timeframe on it like you’re doing a deal at work. It’s likely to shift when you least expect it and you’ve learnt the lesson you’re meant to be learning and you may not even get to know what that is but your soul will.

4. Get some support for your toddler rants…. Having my support network to send lots of crazy wailing and angry emoticons  or nights out to just have a laugh has proved very helpful.

5. Don’t try to out-think it too much.  So much of what we need to accept doesn’t need the thinking mind at all. Shit. That’s the really hard bit…. If you work out how to do that, give me a holler!

Love to know what you think as always x